Because I have always been fascinated of dreams and because I have always wanted to study dreams, I bought a book of "encyclopedia of dreams" sometime last month. It's not as useful as I thought it was though. It gives just a common sense interpretation of things you can possibly dream about.

I've been dreaming a lot lately. I've been having nightmares and my worries seem to appear in my dreams. Evidently I am stressed-out. I just think of so many things uncertain and I just worry about the future a lot.  Just this afternoon, I dreamt of this weird scenario:

I am in a swimming class. I don't know any of the people but I swim better than all the rest. Right after the swimming class, I head immediately to my Filipino class for a long test. While on my way to the classroom a classmate reminded me of a Science 10 long test that I failed to review for. In my mind, I had no idea we are going to have an exam. Failing to study for a long test, is just not so me, can I just say!!! The weird thing while inside my Filipino class was that I know the professor from college yet my classmates were all from high school. I was uneasy while answering a Filipino essay question written on the board. I was thinking of ways I could sneak to review for my next class's test.

Then my Mom woke me up for today's work. I was still not over the dream till I finally realized that I no longer go to school and that I work already and that finally, there's really nothing to be anxious about anymore.

Really weird. Well, we always have creepy and scary dreams. In my case, I rarely have wonderful, magical dreams where I see some McDreamies and McSteamies. Hayyyyyy.

Setting: On a Sunday morning, Kreng and myself inside the bedroom and watching Barbie, Island Adventure.

Jore: Ano naiisip mo?
Kreng: Na para tayong bata.
Jore: Ako din.

Then we both laughed and continued to watch.

when i found a grade school class picture last saturday. i was smiling when i set my eyes on it from my late grandmother's stuff, but when i checked the back of the photo, i recognized my handwriting and i just wanted to hide from my sister from the other corner of the room, worried that she might see what i was reading.

i have probably written that sometime high school years. i do not want to admit but i've written my childhood crush a letter that says, we will marry and all. i honestly wanna stab myself after realizing how so corny and dreamful i was. my family knows and probably whole of Amugis knows this guy was my crush.

he really was. i found him cute back when we were still small.

but not anymore, so i beg people to please stop teasing me with him.

i have been forgetting about my goals, yet now, i have time been spending so much time thinking (and thinking and thinking) about a future business endeavor.

i shall start with a business name. and since i don't really have any definite plans yet on as to which kind of business to get serious into, i've listed down possible names i want for my biz:

Marjiz (for a restaurant name)? Like when you ask somebody where they're having dinner, it's so easy to say "at Marjiz"...hhhmmmm????

Balder-Dash (for a garment's/accessory store). At least I've given honor to my father's name.

I'm stopping this. I just have nothing to do.

with eyes closed, is a whole lot of fun to do before going to sleep these days.
it gives me more connection to God unlike when praying just with the mind. i think God hears me more.

the best idea ever. i just pray this works this time.

God really works in overly amazing ways. My cousin, Ate Michelle in Maryland got in touch with me via YM just now and yeah, she's right, nothing is coincidence.

mvbigornia: before i forget, what about your dream of becoming a chef? you know what i mean, right
Marjie: yep
Marjie: i got across this website just today
Marjie: it's a new culinary school, it's called MIHCA
Marjie: they offer a 4-month culinary course
Marjie: and i really would like to go try
mvbigornia: in makati?  that's wonderful.  what do you need to do?
Marjie: it's in manila
Marjie: i will have to call them
Marjie: and then ask if they still accept students
mvbigornia: can you take 4 months off work?
mvbigornia: or can you take evening courses?
Marjie: since im on night shift, am planning to get  the course done, still while working
Marjie: i will have to find out first if they accept people are are working
mvbigornia: that's exciting!  let me know if i could help you in any way, okay?
mvbigornia: by the way, have you ever heard of microfinancing?  my yoga group and I are actually sponsoring 6 entrepreneurs from different countries. 
Marjie: whoah..really? never heard
Marjie: but can you sponsor me....hahahah
Marjie: so what is it about?
mvbigornia: of course i will sponsor you.  you just have to start your business.
Marjie: any kind of business?
mvbigornia: any kind of business
Marjie: wow...i was really thinking of starting one...and get kreng as my partner
Marjie: so how do we go about it?
Marjie: like, for example, we've already set up our business
mvbigornia: that's the way to do it, you know.  be your own boss.  think of it this way... you're already working hard but someone else is making all the money.  so why not work hard for your own selves, right?  that's why i'm going back to school so i can start my own business.
Marjie: what kind of business do you want to go into?
mvbigornia: first you have to think of a need you can fill.  for example, when i was preparing for my wedding, i learned that i enjoyed it very much --the organization, the meeting with vendors, etc.  and so i thought that maybe i could start be a wedding planner or an event coordinator
mvbigornia: as to what kind of business i want to do-- i am thinking of becoming a financial planner... someone who would handle stocks for you.
mvbigornia: hopefully that would make me a lot of money.  for my dream is to be a philantrophist when i grow up.
Marjie: wow. that's really great.
Marjie: you have a very generous heart
mvbigornia: i can't explain it.  but ever since i could remember, i have this need to serve... kindda like you with your family.
mvbigornia: anyway... what kind of business are you thinking of doing?  what do you guys like to do?  are you in fashion?  into food? 
Marjie: first choice is really food
mvbigornia: from what i can tell... japanese is really big in the philippines... gretchen barreto apparently likes sushi
Marjie: and then i was browsing through entre sites lately, i kind of like to go into selling different stuff online
Marjie: are you familiar with multuply?
Marjie: there are a lot of people selling via that site
Marjie: kind of like ebay
Marjie: *it's multiply
mvbigornia: oh... i thought it was kindda like facebook or myspace?  and not like ebay?
mvbigornia: do you sell stuff thru multiply?
Marjie: but unlike ebay, people buy directly, no more bidding
mvbigornia: you know... one of my friend's friend actually has a business... and it is selling thru e-bay.... what she would do is she would sell stuff for you on e-bay.  she would handle the posting, the selling, and the shipping.  she gets a commission.  have you thought of that as business?
Marjie: that's really nice
Marjie: but here, people would rather sell their stuff directly
mvbigornia: just a thought... anyway, what have you thought of as a business with kreng?
Marjie: was thinking of going into invitation business with her
Marjie: like we'd do wedding invitations
Marjie: bdays, etc
Marjie: we just have to invest on a really good printer, then papers
Marjie: but first we will have to make several samples
Marjie: so we could show it to clients
Marjie: then we can incorporate, weddign give aways with that
mvbigornia: yes!  that's wonderful.  you guys have to get a laser printer!  start looking around.  if you guys are serious about this, i'll get it for the both of you. 
Marjie: wow. we will let you know
Marjie: we'll probably start with coming up with a lot of designs
Marjie: and making some samples
mvbigornia: also start looking around... start researching where you could get really good paper for a good price.  I can even send you a binder so you could show your samples in it. 
Marjie: yeah. kreng likes to go to divisoria
Marjie: we would definitely find a store that sells quality paper from there
mvbigornia: start your research.  think about where you're going to get the paper.  think about where you're going to advertise, how you're going to market.  and start adding all these costs.  by the way, do you know how to set up a website?
Marjie: i've tried before, but i always end up just using multiply and some blogs
mvbigornia: Here's the link to our kiva.org website.  http://www.kiva.org/lender/karma5564
mvbigornia: does kreng know how to set up a website?
Marjie: i dont think so
Marjie: but there are a lot of tutorials via the internet
Marjie: if i have time here at work
Marjie: i could definitely learn
Marjie: how to set up one
mvbigornia: i think it would be advantageous if you have one--more exposure plus customers would take you more seriously if you have one.
Marjie: yeah. ill also ask my IT friends, if they could set up one for me
Marjie: the site you gave, this is your yoga group right
Marjie: and then the pictures are those you're able to help already?
mvbigornia: you have a lot of work.  start thinking of designs.  start thinking who your target market is.  i am presuming the rich brides in the makati? 
Marjie: ate icel, has a friend who is a wedding coordinator
Marjie: so we can partner with them
mvbigornia: yes.  it's my yoga group.  and the pictures are the entrepreneurs we have already helped. 
Marjie: wow
Marjie: i was thinking of mommy putting up also a business in isabela
mvbigornia: that's a great start!  I can also start researching for you as well vis a vis designs and how things are done here.  and how i did my wedding.
Marjie: like a hog raising business
Marjie: but that could be done later on
Marjie: kreng and myself, will have to work on ours first
mvbigornia: i would have to agree... one business at a time. 
mvbigornia: i am getting really excited.  and one of these days, just believe! 
Marjie: thanks ate michelle
Marjie: so much
mvbigornia: i have always believed in you!
Marjie: thanks. and i've always looked up to you
Marjie: ireally hope that we get started this time
Marjie: im tired of just coming up with ideas
mvbigornia: thanks.  but remember i am also human. 
Marjie: then i get really scared
Marjie: then, nothing happens
Marjie: i just remain an employee
mvbigornia: my yoga teacher, Heffer, told me that nothing is a coincidence.  Maybe the reason why we're talking now is so that I could be the push you need to get started. 
Marjie: that is true
mvbigornia: Just believe.  Starting a business is gonna be hard work.  Maybe you will still need to work while the business is starting to grow.  Plus you have to also start to think of diversifying-- do more than wedding invitations... maybe start selling wedding stuff
Marjie: yeah. im thinking of that too
Marjie: i have a neighbor who does flower arrangement, we could get him, once the business grows
mvbigornia: start thinking that maybe your niche is all things wedding.
Marjie: hahahha...yeah
Marjie: but my first love really is food
mvbigornia: another coincidence... i was about to throw away my wedding magazines.  maybe i could send them to you so you can get ideas.
Marjie: that would be great
Marjie: i always go to the BHG site. they have lots of ideas from there
mvbigornia: i know.  i love food too.  keep me updated with the culinary school, okay?
Marjie: i will
Marjie: i'll call them tomorrow
Marjie: plus, i read from their site, that they send students on a international cruise and then work there
Marjie: i got so excited
mvbigornia: make sure you check out martha stewart's website!  she's the premier person with regards to weddings.
Marjie: i will
mvbigornia: working in a cruise ship would be exciting definitely!
mvbigornia: hard work but exciting!
Marjie: true
Marjie: ill give you updates
Marjie: plus, i still will have to talk to kreng about this
Marjie: especially now, she has plenty of time
mvbigornia: don't forget to do that!
Marjie: so you have classes when?
Marjie: are you home all day today?
mvbigornia: i am starting to do my research as to where i am going to college.  it's important that i get in a very good business school.  so, i am checking out university of maryland (supposedly in top 50 business school in the us)
Marjie: is it a 4-year course?
mvbigornia: yes, i am home all day.  our talking about food is making me hungry, particulary sushi... so i'll probably grab some soon since mark is working late again tonight.
mvbigornia: since i already finished the general studies required for a 4 year course, i would only need two more years to get my bachelor's
mvbigornia: hopefully, i could start in september. 
Marjie: wow.
mvbigornia: well, my dear, i will have to sign off now... grab some sushi... talk to you again soon... keep me updated with culinary school, your business ideas... and remember i am here for you.
Marjie: i'll definitely do
Marjie: thanks so much ate
Marjie: you take care
mvbigornia: you too.  bye!

I hope my excitement remains loooooooooooooooooooooonger. Wish me super luck folks!

I am posting this because, this is the first time I'm advising someone regarding business.

Hi,

I got your message from tabulas. I appreciate you reading my post and I'm so glad that we share the same interest.

I do believe that setting  up your own Copy Center Business is a feasible idea. You have a very good location and market. However I still suggest that you do some research before jumping into it. Try to look for quality copiers, inks, papers at cheap prices. Start drafting or at least picture in your mind how your office will look like (how many copiers you'll have, how many employees, what other stuff to sell etc). In saying, it will give you a big profit, you will have to define to yourself: how big is big? what is success to you, if you embark on this?

I am  not actually a graduate of a business course, but I do hope I'm able to help out in some ways. Honestly, I would like to say such things as: "go for it no matter what, or don't let anything stop you" but I myself struggle in starting. I am really very scared.  Actually, what I am most afraid about is when the time comes when I don't dream and I get tired of visualizing anymore because I never get started, I never had guts. 

And so I still say, YOU can definitely do it. DO NOT let any single thing or person stop you from reaching your goals and dreams in life. BELIEVE in YOURSELF and in GOD.

I'd like to hear from you once in a while. Update me with progress on your plans.

Take care,
Marj

Hear this from Tyra Banks again. She delivered the following words when she received an award for her show Tyra, for the Most Outstanding Informative Talk Show, for Daytime Emmy's.

"I just have a message for everbody out there...
When you have a dream, there will be so many people who'll tell you that you CANNOT do it, that you were NOT GOOD ENOUGH...
And I want you to tell them...

TO KISS your DIMPLEly, FLAT, JUICY, BOOTYLICIOUS, SKINNY, JIGGLY, SAGGY, FAT, ASS...."

Kiss My Fat Asssssszzzzz....Anyone???

That’s how people are. They come and go. Always. Generally, that’s how things are.  Even intangible things like ideas, philosophies and the like, are at one point present and at a snap, will be gone—slow, fast, unnoticeable. As the cliché goes, nothing is ever permanent except change. People change. They change habits, attitudes, and certain principles.

When we come to think about it, coming and going, is really just about “commitment.” My much dreaded word of all. When you choose to embrace certain values in life, you are committing to act according to those values. In time, people change and they embrace different ideologies in life. People abandon the old ways and move on, with brand new assimilated philosophies to live by.

And I digress.

A good friend, an officemate and teammate has resigned and will be permanently gone at the office. It’s sad. The only thing that would be left of course are the memories we’ve shared at the workplace. We hold on to the promise that even if we would be far away from each other, we would be friends, we would regularly chat and communicate. That’s how it is, all the time. The same is true for friends that I’ve left behind before. We remain good buddies and regularly keep in contact with each other. This is the good thing.

Being done.

That’s a reality about choosing to not commit anymore and thus, go. One gets tired, one gets bored, and one gets over familiar with things, whatever sort of reasons, the bottomline is, it’s done and people are done with it. People then turn their backs and move away, go on and take a step ahead, continue on with their journeys, to find real happiness.

Then the cycle goes on. Things, ideas, people—they just always come and go.

come Thursday and the coming weeks. My hands are gonna get soooo dirty and I am so sooo excited.

I got sick.

I've got sore throat and slight fever and I think I'm getting coughs and colds in the coming days.
Will have to take all the sleep and rest I could get this weekend.

El.oh.vi..ee,
Marj